Galau time.

and in this very awkward second..

i cry while i am typing this post

i just can not imagine how it would be, live in a new city alone without family, in a new bedroom, a new people, a new house and friend, im so scare and so not ready for this very big change of my live. and knowing that my very close person will leave Jogja in my first day there cause he is no longer in the same university.. it was just SUCKS. i mean i will need him so much, his shoulder, his cheer up song, he is the best medicine for me. and what would it be?i really will live in that new city, alone.

i will be missing my house, my purple bed room, diva's sound, rayhan's voice, and all.. i think this is the most hard part after 18 years i live. and guess what im still crying.

i can not run to mom's bed room when i heard a thunder, or hug diva tight whenever i feel afraid after watch something, or crying to mom and tell her in the midnight when i had a nightmare........... or simply call shella to spend her night in my room when mom is out of town.

I HAVE TO FACE IT ALL ALONE. gak ada kamar pelarian kalo gue lagi ketakutan, gak ada yang bisa dipeluk lagi tiap malem, gak ada adik laki2 yg bisa dibangunin bwt nemenin gw makan kalo malem laper, gak ada shella yg bisa gw telfon kalo gw lg bosen atau sendirian dirumah.........

hard.

this 2 days i can not sleep well, i keep thinking about it..

im so not ready

and i will never be.

Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together?  I guess that wouldn't work.  Someone would leave.  Someone always leaves.  Then we would have to say good-bye.  I hate good-byes.  I know what I need.  I need more hellos.  ~Charles M. Schulz