sophomore year on 4th semester really drive me crazy. like: literally crazy. all of the stuffs just makes me nuts. you know the feeling, like you want to be chill for all the things so damn much but you can't. i mean well you actually can.. just sleep or lying on your bed instead of studying, whats so hard? but you just can not, your own self keep telling you that you have to take your ass off and sit calmly and read the whole materials.

and when you have done that: you are studying so hard. you really are.

you always sit in the front seat, keep your attention to the lecturer, finished the task on time, and read the literatures that your lecturer suggest to you. But Still, when it came to time to prove your abilities on that thing, you just don't feel succeed. you feel like your outcome aint as big as your work.and then come a second when you feel like.. "holy crap. whats the different between me and my whole things, and them who even don't have any freakin book to read and study?" and then your evil side of yours tells you to stop study. because it is such a waste. then you are speechless. 

then again i remembered i ever felt this before. the exact same feeling. when i'am also in a second year of my Senior High School. i was so obsessed. i felt like i was studying so hard to reach a good score. i really want everyone sees me as a smart girl back then, LOL. so i keep telling my self that i should have a good achievement on this academic things no matter what. but every time the examination come, i failed. almost every examination, i didn't get a good score. i was so confused of my self, what the heck is happen with my brain. i feel like a crap.  But there came one night i found some valuable thoughts of mine when at that time i feel like i want to decide whether i just stop and give up or try again. i tought this: studying, learning, and gain something are all our responsibilities, our main duties. its an obligation. we are doing that because we HAVE to, it is not for the shake of a good score. even when we failed and got a creepy bad score again and again, we just should still studying. we are all learning. we shouldn't have to stop. why i believe so? because personally, in my future life, i want to be in a high position because my knowledges. not because my money, my power. that two things, could gone in one blink of eyes, but i still believe knowledges won't. y' think  i am naive? whatever.  but i wish i could see a scenery from the top because of that......

that "K" thingy is the best asset, gain as much as you can from now on.