God doesn't play dice.

God, i really don't know what are your plan for me in the future. When i faced all the hard times i always asking by my self "what did actually my God want me to do?" I really don't know whats behind this.

Just for today, i feel like going to regretting some of my decision i've made.

i feel fooled. i feel like someone is playing around with my life, feel like someone is joking around with my destiny. i feel like my dream is suddenly step out a thousand miles further. i feel like everything suddenly twisted up.

there are a hundred of unspoken words left unsaid this few days. too much thing i wanted to tell but it was just stuck and i can't do anything.  i feel like going to throw everything up anytime soon since it is almost reach its limit. on the time like this sometime i wanted to do what some actress usually do in dramas, going far away from home to a one big big field in front of the river and scream. 

i know God you never played dice.

but probably, someone does. and i've been fooled.