one boring post.

i don't know if she even counting down the days for me leaving home. she said "ini malem terakhir mbak inas tidur bareng aku ya?" and then she held my hand until she fell asleep. she asked that more than three times about my last night here. I seriously held my tears as she ask me why do i need to go? why don't i just stay still to be an elementary student so i could remain by her side? I don't know either.. Why do i need to grow up and leave you, why can't i watch you grow up as well? my one and only little sister. It sucks so much.

Last day in the middle of the night there was a loud storm voice. we spontaneously hug each other til the morning i woke up, and all i can see is that lil girl.. and her little body. her long black hair. so lovely. I don't even want to imagine that I'm going to start all over again to live alone there. Who i am gonna hug when there's a storm since there is no one?

Since this is gonna be my last year (i hope), there's no more semester break til next year. So when this holiday finally reach its end, its just.. different. I'm so gonna miss everyone. my room, my oh so comfy home. AHHH anyway how many times i need to write this kind of post? haha. i think there are several post here that explained how i hate to go back again to College life. How come.. it still hurt so much no matter i've been leaving home like several times? the feeling is still the same like the freshman me who leave the home for the first time. It was and still, breaking my heart.