I had the best days with you.

my relationship with mom is just different from everybody's else has. hehe. mom got married at my age (20), such a really young age to start sailing a new life with husband. and yet.. that make me become one of the luckiest daughter in the world to have such mom as a best friend on my teenager life. if you see how close am i with her now, one thing that you should know: it doesn't come in an instant (indeed!), a good relationship on mom-daughter even need an effort, definitely. you can't just born and raised (oh my God why suddenly become such a Mayer-blood LOL) and could comfortably spending a mommy-daughter relationship automatically. for me my self and mom, we also have that process.

my puberty phase when i started to feel like mrs-know-everything was started at the age of.. well, i think 13th? On the 1st year of junior high school, just like every girls on my age, i started to know how its like when i like something. I didnt close with mom that time so she started to feel worried. I remember that she even routinely called my best friend and asked her about my life in school, mom told my friend that i didnt share a lot of stories. when my best friend called me about that, that made me angry.. "Why you need to call her? Why you made me ashamed? Why i should told you everything when I don't even want to?". Knowing that made me didnt want to share my story with Mom, more. In addition one day i found mom trying to opened my phone by tried my phone password several times that made my phone blocked (it was so funny if i remembered it now! HAHHAHA), yet that time, that made me really upset. I said towards mom "Why you need to do this? This is my privacy" (I can't believe i said PRIVACY THAT time! PRIVACY??? hahaha) that time mom replied "What Privacy? You don't need that in front of me!"

and so we fought for 2 days. I didnt want to talked with her.

But then everything's started to change when.. I found one book on my mom's car. I found one psychological book, i forgot the title, but its about "How to be close with your daughter", and that made me... teary. All of sudden my wall that i built fell apart. That time i wanted to cry saw how my mom really.. like REALLY wanted to be close with me. but no, it didnt that quick guys.. my heart started to feel like i need her, i love her, and else BUT i didnt know how to express that? do you ever experienced the same? you felt like you love your parents but you are too shy to said that towards them?` I did feel so on that time.

Until one day, I met one cheerful girl that made my relationship with mom became better and better. Lets call her S. She is my junior on junior high school. right from the start we found a lot of things in common and so, she often spent a night on my house. she had a good relationship with her mom already and that made me envy the most. So there was one day, my mom suddenly invited S and her mom to hang out with me and mom to Jakarta. double date my Mom said. Up until now, i still remember clearly.. how that day: saved my life, changed my life, made my life better and brighter :)

Mom and I saw how close S and her mom and probably that time both of me and mom thoughts "Aaah! So thats how it works". From that day mom became S' mom best friend, and me and S also.. have the best sister relationship anyone can't have, up until this day. From that day on, step by step, and finally that whole process lead me to have my own REAAAALLY close relationship with mom on my JHS life. i have no privacy. mom even often reply a-boy-that-approached-me texts, hahaha. Even we fought a lot of times, we argue on a lot of things, but well thats why it said teenager life. i didnt really stable. sometimes i hate mom so much, sometimes i feel like i can't live without her, sometimes we didnt even wanted to talk. but thats my growing up process and yes it was all normal.

But well, today as i write this, i think i write this not as a girl anymore, but more like a woman. a woman that raised by a pretty, wise, cool Mom that no one can't have. Today as i write this far away from home, far away from Mom, i realize that a lucky daughter like me is just a few.. 

Dear Mom, how could i express this?

Thank you so much for raising me. Thank you so much for become my best friend and mother on the same time. Thank you so much for fought alone that time for us to being this close. Thank you for not gave up when i was really hard to approach. Thank you for always found a way to make me happy. Thank you for all your sacrifices for me. Thankyou for all the good memories you gave on my childhood life, on my every single ups and downs critical teenager life, and up until now. Thank you mom.. Thank you so much once again for not...... giving up.

Im sorry that you need to hear I love you words often on the midnight every time i got a night mare.

Im sorry that i told you I love you.. too often.

But i think I'm going to said it more and more often from today's on :)

i didnt know if you knew, so I'm taking this chance to say that I had the best days with you.

happy mothers day, Ibu.