hi!

Yeay finally today is my first time fasting for this Ramadhan. Ramadhan Mubarak, everyone! i wish you have a nice, heart warming holy month that could make you better and closer with Him, indeed. Alhamdulillah thank God i once again have a chance to spent the first 10 days of Ramadhan with my family, at home. its unexpected since i guess i won't have a chance to come home before my KKN start but it turned out i still have a 10 days break so here i am, writing leisury at my room with Dhiva beside me, playing iPad. haha. such a simple yet lovely atmosphere which i always been missed every time i am far away from home. ooh how i love being here.. the literal meaning of "home sweet home".

Anyway, today is apparently the 4th of July, haha, whats popped on mind the first thing i mentioned that date? alright, US, Independence day, Katty perry (?), Barbecue, Fireworks, Political speech and stuffs? haha.. whatevs but today is Chindy's sweet seventeen birthday. y' know i loooooove seeing a person having a birthday. i loooove surprises! i love making a surprise, i love gifts, balloon, smile, hugs, and those kind of things. i love love. i love lovely atmosphere. i love being surrounded with a people who shows their affection. :) and being involved on "chindy's surprise project" makes me reminiscing those warm old times, a time when i had mine too. i do have those sweet seventeen unforgettable surprise, i do know how's exactly the feeling when you are just TOO surprised, too speechless, you just want to hug them all. i do know how's exactly the feeling when your tears suddenly came down while at the same time you just wanna smile, like all the time. 

people called it happiness. and I'm so glad i have one.

the most important thing after having those "reminiscing the old times" ws i told mom that Im glad i experienced that too in my teenager life. i said towards mom "You know i know exactly how's it. I cried too on my sweet seventeen birthday surprise. Feel so blessed, feel so NORMAL being a teenager. I have those time!"i said it with a huge smile. after that a long the journey from Cindy's home to mine (for about 30minutes), something came to mind: (early cautions : do NOT too early to say "geez of course!" or "everybody freakinly knows that, dumbass" right after you read this bold italic sentence..)

You know, I think, its really.. really important to live your life at the very moment.

with a targets and dozens of dreams you want in life.. i suppose, its not easy to live your life, to seize the moment on that VERY second. to forget what gonna happen next, what you gonna do tomorrow and so on, but JUST.. just do what you do now to the fullest, be 100% of what you are currently doing.  to feel the happiness, to feel every second that pass, to yes of course growing up but enjoy every moment of that.. not too hurry.. not too slow.. 

i think at some point, human often forget about that ; to be Here and Now.

IM SO GLAD that i had a lot of fun and joy up until i reached twenty. Despite that i also always have one big thing that i want to achieve. but its good, tho that i never forget how to living my youth life at the moment. hahaha..

Its sounds weird but well, I never regret i came school late and got a punishment, LOL

i never regret i had a time when i need to climb my school wall, i never regret i had a cat fight with my girl mates, i never regret i've been stabbed with my clique and i cried a long the day, i never regret those awkward moment when me and two of my friends expelled from class LOL.. in the other words...

Its so fine i've been matured by some faults. 

and yes, Im proudly said I'm glad i ever made a lot of mistakes.

and well dudes once again i HAD those time!

and i feeeeeel sooooo great to be matured by my OWN experiences. by my own sweetest mistakes. Im so glad that i had those growing up process.. to live happily if i feel happy, but never ignore the sadness if i felt so. to live simply just like that as if i don't know what tomorrow's gonna bring, to just simply ignore reading "key to be matured", "age and maturity", "how to grow up on a smooth way" and Blah! just to simply ignore reading those.. but i describe age, maturity, growing up, in my own way.. in my own dictionary.
and for anyone who read this that thinks you were there with me; thank you so much for being there and be a part of my growing up process.. i don't care how nice or even how mean you were with me that time, i am still going to say thank-you-so-much. for making my life up til now tasty and colorful. you mean a lot. :)

i believe that growing up is like walking on a stairs. you need to take every step carefully, one by one, just stable. 

and i want to continue enjoying every step i take, on every stage i have on my life span development. even there's gonna be some point i'll be slipped and hurt but i gotta wake up and try stepping again;  i don't want to consciously missed nor skip even a single step of it.

that's growing up for me. find your own definition.

you know.. Most people age. They find parking spaces, honor their credit cards, get married, have children and call that maturity. What that is for me, is aging. I my self don't want to be aging without being mature with a process.

That's going to be chalenge-less. and that-is-terrible.